Kind of out with the old, and in with the somewhat-new…
January 1st, 2012
Happy New Year.
It’s 3:56AM on January 1st, of 2012. The best friends just left, and I’m about to crash for the next 8 to 12 hours…But I figured I’d write this out now, before I go to sleep for the first time in 2012.
2011 was a good year. I learned a hell of a lot. About people. About relationships and friendships. About who you can trust. About myself.
2011 will always be the year I left high school, and started college, which still seems crazy. It’s still hard to believe that in 16 days I’ll be starting my second semester at Rowan. Weird.
A lot has happened this past year. And it went by so fast.
“Time is precious. Waste it wisely.”
Senior trip. Mr. WT. Prom. Graduation.
Summer. Taylor Swift concert. Shore. Saying goodbye.
College. Thanksgiving break. College. 19th Birthday. Christmas.
Now it’s 2012.
“You build on failure. You use it as a stepping stone. Close the door on the past. You don’t try to forget the mistakes, but you don’t dwell on it. You don’t let it have any of your energy, or any of your time, or any of your space.” - Johnny Cash
I’ve lost a few friends this past year. Like some old best friends I thought I would be friends with for a long time. And I’ve learned that you can’t trust somebody just because you think you know them - because chances are, you don’t actually know who they are. If they treat other people in a horrible way, chances are they’ll be able to treat you the same damn way. And honestly, they’re not worth your time. And while I miss this specific friendship at the most random of times (like when I see a guy I know she’d think was hot), I realize I don’t really miss her. Not as much as I figured I should. You know. Since I thought she was one of my best friends.
I’ve also gained some friends at school. And I’ve kept some amazing friendships. While we’re all separated now, I still know who my best friends are. Cecilia. Kristina. Sabah. Lindsay. And if you want to throw a guy in there, then Dylan. We’ve all been through a lot, but they’re the ones I could trust with my life. But I’ve also become closer to some people. Like Rebecca & Kelsey. We were friends in high school, but now that we’re always together at Rowan, we’ve become closer. There are also other people, like people from work (like Tim).
So. I still like Dylan. But these past few days I’ve been questioning how much I actually like him still. I drew him for polyana and ended up getting him a pillow pet. lol. I still don’t think anything will ever happen with him, but I do still like him. I think I’m really confused about him. And it’s driving me crazy. I also have developed a huge crush on Tim from work. I’m not surprised. He’s 21-turning-22, and he’s funny, cute, and he has his nice moments. He makes me laugh a lot. :)
I’ve gone through the past 7 months liking Dylan - a lot. I honestly feel like I should just move on, and yet I haven’t been able to yet. I think that when he leaves again for school (and I won’t see him for like, 5 months), it’ll be easier for me to move on. I hope.
2012 is a new year. I really don’t know what resolutions to make for the year, yet.
“Stop waiting for things to happen. Go out and make them happen.”
But I know I want to start working out consistently. We’ll see how that goes. I’m horrible with working out, because I’m way too lazy to do it. ;) But I will start, sometime soon.
I also want to organize my movie collection, which is growing literally every day. (I got like 10 movies for Christmas including ones I bought myself, the entire series of Gilmore Girls and the entire series of F.R.I.E.N.D.S., and two more seasons of Friday Night Lights.) I plan on making a spreadsheet on my computer, so I can make different categories (like Title of Movie, Genre, Starring Actor/Actresses, etc.). I also need to organize my movies in my bedroom.
Which leads me to cleaning my room sometime soon. I get my wisdom teeth out on the 3rd, but sometime afterwards, I plan on cleaning my room and organizing my books and everything.
I also want to write more this year. I planned on writing more last year, but never did. I’m taking a creative writing class this semester, so hopefully that’ll help me get motivated to write more.
I also want to continue doing well in school. I got a 3.925 GPA for the first semester (Damn A- in Comp I.), which I’m really happy with. I’m hoping this next semester will go just as well. We’ll see.
I also want to do something with my crazy movie obsession. I’ve thought many times of making a blog/site that featured movie reviews and everything, but I honestly don’t know. I also thought of making a handwritten notebook of reviews for movies I own (and movies I see/want to own/etc.), just for my own personal reference.
And lastly, I want to be happy this year. The latter half of 2011 featured a very depressed Emily, which was a completely new emotion. I don’t think I’ve ever been as depressed as I was back in like August, September-ish. So I want to be happy this year. And I want to live in the moment.
“So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life’s a beautiful thing and there’s so much to smile about.” - Marilyn Monroe
I’ll be 20 in like, 356 days. I have 356 days until I reach my 20’s, and I want to live everyday to the fullest. Because if I don’t, I will regret it. I’m determined to make 2012 a good year - just as good as 2011, if not better.
“We are so young and we don’t even notice.”
long live 2011.